Things Sailors Never Say

Sometimes being able to talk like a sailor means more than knowing your port from your starboard, a bowline from a boatswain. You have to understand and appreciate the mentality of a sailor to really be able to fit in, and that includes knowing what not to say just as much as knowing your sailing terminology.

To help all newbie sailors fit in, we've come up with a list of things any sailor worth his or her salt would absolutely never say. Think we missed something? Send your thoughts to [email protected].

“We have enough beer for everyone.”
“It’s pretty windy; I think we’ll stay on the dock today.”
“We can’t sail this weekend. We have church.”
“My doctor says that weeknight racing is really helping with my rage issues.”
“Oh sure, you can totally borrow my bowman that weekend. He’s free.”
“This winter, we’re going on a cruise ship to the BVIs.”
“We have plenty of ice.”
“I’ve stopped drinking for the summer.”
“I traded my J/22 for this awesome pontoon boat.”
“PORT!!!!!”

A bunch of folks saw this on Scuttlebutt and have sent in their responses as well. We love 'em, and have to share. You readers are clever.

"Don't bother trimming. We're going fast enough already." --Stephen Toner
"Here, have a banana." --James King
"I think there's a cheap fix for that." --Brad Law
"Sure, let me make some room for you and the committee boat." --Jeff Borland
"No thanks. I really don't like dark n' stormies." --Drew Beach