With St. Valentine's Day quickly approaching, we checked in with three Chesapeake Bay couples about sailing together. They revealed a range of emotions, mushy and sweet, but tinged with a bit of tension and cheekiness. Sail on lovers!
Sailing couple number one; telling it like it really is: Jacki and David Meiser
Best part of sailing with your partner?
D: Having a spouse who wants to allocate the same financial resources to sailboat racing as I do—and what my wife says, below. Of course.
J: Not having to coordinate two separate weekend schedules. We both go the same place at the same time and we both end up at the tent party together!
Most challenging part of sailing with your partner?
D: There is nothing challenging about sailing with Jacki. Every time we step on the boat together it is a joyful experience... that is, unless I tell her that she can leave her gear behind and it rains or it’s windy, or if I decide to change plans at the last minute at the leeward mark takedown, then things get challenging. Actually, I would be happy if it were only challenging…
J: Remembering that if we don’t see a situation in the same way during a race, David needs to make the ultimate call as the driver and I need to respond accordingly, as crew. It’s not a husband/wife situation where you discuss options to a problem and arrive at a mutual consensus. The six people we call our (fabulous) crew, who all sit between David and me, will attest to the fact that quietly complying with the skipper’s decision is not always my strong suit. It’s way easier to do when the driver is not also your husband!
On the boat, what do you do well together?
Because David drives and Jacki does the bow, we don’t have too much direct interaction during a race, so our answer is that we drink a cold beer well together on the way in from the racecourse.
Sailing couple number two; (warning--he's a bit cheeky): Heidi Frist and Michael Lehmkuhl
How did you meet?
H: Racing someone else’s boat
M: RACING SOMEONE ELSE’S BOAT
Best part of sailing with your partner?
H: We get to share awesome adventures: nighttime sailing and star gazing, views of Caribbean islands, storms, doldrums, good conversations, solving mechanical failures…
M: STOP YELLING!!
Most challenging part of sailing with your partner?
H: I am a little more conservative than Michael. It can be challenging when I am racing my boat and Michael is crewing for me; sometimes he gets frustrated when I don’t make a tactical move that he would have made.
M: I’M NOT YELLING!!
On the boat, what do you do well together?
H: We take turns supporting each other. Whoever is at the helm, the other supports with whatever they may need—relaying information from charts, Aqua Map, radio communications, extra set of eyes on lookout, snacktician, or telling jokes. We did a wonderful delivery for our Christmas holiday.
M: DELIVERIES AND CRUISING. OUR RECENT 800 NM DELIVERY
Sailing couple number three; *mushy spolier alert*: Jayne Durden and Mark Burrows
How did you meet?
At a Herrington Harbour Sailing Association committee meeting the discussion got into the weeds about PHRF, ORC, SA/D, and the course book. We noticed each other across the table kind of smiling and giggling about the intensity of the discussion. We introduced ourselves after the meeting ended and the bar was open.
Most challenging part of sailing with your partner?
Problem solving in stressful situations is something we are working on. We process things differently. Mark goes through things internally then says, “This is how the problem should be solved.” Jayne talks through problems before developing a solution. However, sometimes a problem is in someone's expertise. Mark is the rigger, and Jayne is the engine mechanic. In that situation, the other person says, "Go do it. I'll back you up."
On the boat, what do you do well together?
We are great at docking. Jayne drives. Mark handles lines, fenders, and sometimes handles crowd control. We stay pretty calm because we are confident in each other's abilities.
A challenging situation on a boat that helped bond you together?
Mark took his Inland 20 scow to Rehoboth Beach. Mark is a big boat sailor with more limited experience with something as small and quick as the I-20, but Jayne grew up dinghy racing. After getting out into Rehoboth Sound, we zoomed around until the wind kicked up a lot and we decided to go back in. We sort of had one shot. Mark was very concerned about the speed that we approached the marina. I wouldn't call it panic, but his eyes were certainly big. The boat charged in toward the bulkhead. Eyes a bit bigger. He might have verbalized his concern. Jayne spun the boat and lightly kissed the bulkhead with the beam. As we stepped ashore, Mark hugged Jayne and said, “I love you” for the first time.
