A couple passionate about sailing and life on the water.
About a dozen years ago, a new sailor named Russ Borman reached out to our editor to discuss contributing a few articles to SpinSheet, which he did. Since then, he’s lived the cruising dream, first solo and later with a partner in sailing and life. In honor of Valentine’s Day, February 14, Russ and his partner Kelly Smith answered our questions:
When you first wrote for SpinSheet, you were new to sailing. How did your sailing progress from there?
Russ: I had learned to sail, bought a boat, and later moved it to Annapolis. Having sailed only around the Chesapeake for two years, in 2015 I took the bold step of singlehanding to Florida, mostly on the ICW. I spent that winter living aboard down south and realized I loved it, so in May 2016 I returned to Annapolis, sold my Virginia condo, and began living aboard full time. I’ve been living on a boat since.
How and when did you meet Kelly?
Having grown tired of single life, I decided to look online for a compatible sailing partner. Kelly was living in Texas and had also come to the realization that she wanted a partner with whom to live aboard and cruise. We met online in a Sailing Singles group in the fall of 2020 at the height of Covid, trading plane rides every few weeks to make sure we were suitable sailing and life partners. After several “sailing dates,” we both decided to fully retire and go cruising together full time.
How did sailing enhance your relationship?
We are both passionate about sailing and life on the water. Those key criteria served as the foundation for our relationship. The rest was making sure we were compatible. Being together 24/7/365 in a 42-foot space either works or it doesn’t, and you find out pretty fast. Kelly’s an accomplished sailor and lived aboard in a previous life. Parts of us coming together were easy, while other parts were mildly challenging. We learned how to compromise and co-exist and have chosen to be partners for life living on the water.
Can you summarize the sailing adventures you’ve shared thus far?
When Kelly decided to move aboard, I bought a bigger boat. Together we’ve sailed more than 12,000 nautical miles in four years aboard Bliss, our 2004 Hunter 420. Our trips have taken us from Maine to the Florida Keys, as well as four trips to the Bahamas where we’ve stayed three months each time.
What’s your advice to other sailing couples?
Russ: To me, what sets happy sailing couples apart is the ability to work together on most things, while working separately where each has strengths. Work at being a cohesive couple while retaining your individuality. It’s important for both people to be capable of operating the boat to make journeys easier, or in case of emergency. Kelly and I split helm time pretty evenly, which allows us to spend long days on the water without either person getting fatigued. Otherwise, all the things that apply on land also apply on the water.
Kelly: Living harmoniously on a 42-foot monohull requires adaptability, communication, and teamwork. While we do have our moments of frustration on occasion, the following tips have worked well for us:
- Communication and respect are key elements to any relationship on or off the water. Discuss plans and concerns openly. Make decisions together.
- Allow individual personal time and space for hobbies, reflection, etc.
- Stay organized and minimize clutter which minimizes stress.
- Responsibilities—some divided based on strengths and some shared. Nice to change roles on occasion or help your partner with their role.
- Be patient and flexible; give each other support as needed.
Anything else you'd like to add?
As with any couple, there will be conflicts. Always remember that life is short, so enjoy it while you can.
